Debunking the Most Common Myths about Love and Marriage
In honor of Valentine’s day, I propose a question: Do you believe in true love?
That’s a tough question for some. I guess it depends on what you mean by “true.” It also depends on what sort of love you’re talking about. For now, lets say we’re talking about the romantic sort. Is there a real deal when it comes to love and marriage? A lot of folks would say that it just doesn’t exist. At least, they’ve never seen it in real life. They write off true love as the invention of the clever folks at the greeting card companies – or maybe the people who make those little conversation heart candies. God knows they make a pretty penny off of our silly romantic notions this time of year.
Kris & Andrea circa 2001. Was it the real thing - or did she just love me for my hair?
On the other hand, there seems to be something inside of us that just longs for true love. We feel like there just has to be something to this idea. Why else would so many people spend their hard earned money on absurdly cheesy romantic comedies? What are we all watching for? Are we searching for some hint of the real thing? And if we’re all searching for it, why is it so hard to find?
The Opposite of True Perhaps the real problem is lies – love lies. If there is such a thing as true love, then it is by its very nature true. What is the enemy of truth? Lies, of course. When it comes to love, the lies come on thick and strong. I’m not talking about the lies that bad boyfriends tell. I’m talking about the ones the world tells. Subtle lies that you’ve been told in countless movies and songs since you were too young to know any better. Ideas about love that work their way into our hearts and twist our understanding. They obscure the truth of love, making us question whether or not it even exists.
“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” - Colossians 2:8
The Bible warns us repeatedly to be on the lookout for “deceptive philosophy” and convincing arguments that can take us captive. Lies are the great weapons of our enemy the Devil. He uses them to attack our understanding and keep us from a knowledge of God. What are his targets? Certainly two of them must be truth and love. Not only are they the two obvious components of true love, they are also both descriptions of the very character of God. “God is love” (1st John 4:16). Jesus is the truth (John 14:6). Whether the lies come from Satan or just from the world around us, they work hard to attack our understanding and knowledge of God. If our concepts of love and truth get twisted, so will our view of God. Yet we are not powerless. We fight back.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” – 2nd Corinthians 10:5
Expose the Lie, Find the True I believe in true love. I am convinced that it is a reality. If we cannot see it, it is our vision that has been impaired. Twisted truth, empty philosophies, and worthless ideas cloud our understanding. They gain our trust, lift our hopes, then dash them to pieces.
My goal with this series is to expose the lies; to show them for what they are. Once you learn to recognize the deception, the true begins to become clear. You can see past the empty promises, and go after the real thing.
So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, and in defense of the reality of true love, I present to you… The World’s Top Seven Love Lies
Over the next couple of weeks we will be debunking the myths about love and marriage that the world has been feeding you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. Some of them come from movies, some of them from songs; most are so pervasive in our modern thinking that we couldn’t even pinpoint where we got the idea. I’ll be counting them down as we get closer to Valentine’s Day. (While we’re at it, we’ll have a little fun too. I’ll be asking for your input on the top ten most ridiculous love songs of all time, as well as the all time most ridiculous romantic movies. So start thinking about those now.)
As always, we’ll look to the real source for truth: the Bible. We’ll match the world’s ideas up against God’s word and see what’s left standing. The Bible says a whole lot about love – and it will give you the wisdom you need to tell the real stuff from the fake. Like most good lies, these bad boys put just enough truth into the mix to make you believe – or want to believe – that they’re true. We will examine each one and separate the good from the bad, the gold from the dross, the lies from the truth. Who knows -by the time we’re done, we may just find the keys to unlock the mystery of the ever elusive true love.
I look forward to your comments. Agree, disagree, or share your story. Again, I should point out that, for the purposes of this series, we will focus on the nature of romantic love. There are many kinds of love, and they are all interrelated. For now, let’s stick to this one. I should also point out my own bias. First, I am a Christian and I believe the Bible is true. Second, I am happily married and madly in love with my wife of twelve years. Obviously, those factors are going to affect my perceptions about love. Yes, I am what you might call a hopeless romantic, but I am also a very practical guy who is firmly grounded in God’s Word. I just figured that it was only fair to let you know my bias ahead of time. See you again when we start counting down at Love Lie #7.
Always in the unfailing love of Christ,
Pastor Kris ( 8-D=
“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” - 1st John 3:18 (emphasis added)
Using the Bible to talk about love? What a concept!