The Bible Sherpa

Welcome to the Bible Sherpa blog! This is post number one, entered while  just about no one in the world knows I’m here. If you’re here and this is the only post, I must say that you are dreadfully early. How did you get here so fast? Seriously, you’re like one of those people who show up for a dinner party two hours early. The host has to pretend that he doesn’t mind at all as he vacuums around you like you’re a piece of furniture. His poor kid has to keep you entertained while dad cleans the bathrooms and you eat all the appetizers. Thanks a lot!

Okay, just kidding – you’re not really that bad. And as long as you’re here, how do you like my site? I know, there’s not much here yet. In fact, this is about it. So I’ll try to make this one worth your while (then maybe you’ll come back when I have something decent).

I still have to wonder how you got here, though. I haven’t advertised the site yet, which means that you either know me, or you somehow mysteriously decided to search for the words Bible and Sherpa at the same time. What on earth would inspire you to search for Bible Sherpa?!?! On the other hand, you might ask me what on earth would inspire me to make a Bible Sherpa blog. Good point. If you’ll just give me a couple days to get my site in order, I’ll get to that. For now, here you are and here I am, and we’ll just have to make the best of it.  Hmmmm….

Alright, I thought of something to make your stop here worthwhile. My  little three year old girl walked into the office to ask for a snack. I’ll ask her to do a dance…

Did you like it?! Oh, no video, huh? Sorry – I must have confused blog with youtube or something. Too bad. She’s stinkin’ adorable, and she’ll totally do a snack-dance anytime she wants a snack. Your loss. I enjoyed it anyway. Okay, I have another idea…

Here’s a free tip that will totally help you in real life (the kind of thing that good blogs are made of, right?). I grabbed this excerpt from a book I’m working on about frustration (more on that later – stop rushing me already!). This is a tip for anyone who, out of necessity, must read long and boring texts. This will be especially useful for students taking tests of the SAT and ACT variety. Awful, right? Not any more. Here’s my tip…

Much of life is bound to be boring. That’s life. However, there is always something you can do about it. Laugh.

For example, if you find reading this book (or blog) to be a drudgery, might I suggest a good accent. After all, you are only reading it to yourself. Even if you can’t manage to imitate a good accent out loud, anyone can pull it off in their head. I was able to liven up a particularly monotonous four hour teachers’ exam by reading every question in proper British. Don’t believe it will work? Here – you try it with this sample test question. Pretend that you have been taking this long, boring state-required test for the last three hours. Suddenly you remember a great tip that you read in a book (or blog) somewhere! (Don’t forget – proper British for the whole question – and overdo it just for effect).

Question #54: Which of the following sentences best captures the theme of the excruciatingly tiresome bit of nonsense that you just read in the paragraph above?

a) Mister Collins feels envious of Captain Beauregard.


b) Mister Collins stole Captain Beauregard’s impressive stamp collection.

c) Mister Collins’ dream dog is a Yorkshire Terrier named Freddy.

d) Mister Collins believes that the true pioneer who brought parachute pants to the forefront of America’s fashion sensibilites was not MC Hammer, but was in fact a Yorkshire Terrier affectionately known as Captain Beauregard.

e) Mister Collins is a twit.

Now wasn’t that much better than taking a boring old test with no accent? Of course if you already have a British accent because you were born in England, that little exercise was probably not particularly amusing. However, you can always go back and try it with an Indian accent. That one is my favorite.

(Please note that I am in no way making fun of any person with an accent. On the contrary, I thoroughly enjoy listening to them. I find that people with accents bring beauty and flavor to our language, like foreign seasonings to our food. I often wish I had an accent, but I have none to speak of. Hey, that was a pun. Get it? “Speak of”… Sorry, not very funny. But try it again with a French twist and I am certain you will find it most delightful. If that doesn’t work, go Australian. That one never fails.)

Excerpted from (the currently unpublished draft version of)
FRUSTRATION! The Theology of Murphy’s Law
Learning to Trust God’s Plan When Yours Just Doesn’t Work Out
by Kris Langham
Coming soon…hopefully (You may notice that the above tip was also useful for editors at major publishing houses who have to read lots of long, boring manuscripts. See how helpful I am!  And for the folks who write the SAT, feel free to copy my question and use it in a real test.)

Okay, that’s it for blog entry number one. I hope you appreciate all the work I put into this. After all, I can’t imagine that there are more than two people in the universe who just happened to search for Bible Sherpa. So you’re pretty special. Please come back again when I have real content to add. Adios.

Always in Christ, Kris  ( 8-D=