The Top Seven Love Lies of the World (cont.)
Debunking the most common myths about love and marriage & searching for the reality of true love
Definitely not the Greatest Love of All
It’s Valentine’s Day and the Bible Sherpa is back with a special holiday treat. Think of this blog post like a conversation heart – a really big one with a whole bunch of words. Okay, that didn’t even make sense. Let’s get to the point, shall we. Today we are up to number five in the big countdown. Drumroll please…
Love Lie #5: You Can’t Love Someone Else Until You Learn to Love Yourself (aka the Importance of Self Esteem)
The Idea: You cannot truly learn to love others until you first learn to love yourself. Generally, this is presented as a self esteem issue. Basically they tell you that you must first feel good about yourself before you can show any real care for others.
The Source: This one is rooted in modern psychology, which puts a major emphasis on self image and self esteem. I heard this idea repeatedly from my elementary school teachers. The idea has found it’s way into pop-culture as well, to the point that it has become a generally accepted idea in America’s cultural understanding. (You may also remember this lie from a song that I sang at my sixth grade graduation – see the Top 7 most ridiculous love songs post for details).
The Verdict: While low self esteem will affect your relationships with others, a high self esteem is not the solution. Whether it is low or high, self-esteem is still self-centered. True love is others-centered (you may notice this is becoming a common thread here in our love lie countdown). The kind of esteem you really need is God-esteem – to see yourself through God’s eyes.
The Bible: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” – 2nd Timothy 3:1-4 NIV
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” - Philippians 2:3 NLT (also translated “esteem others higher than yourself”)
“Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” – Romans 12:3b NLT
The Truth: The premise behind love lie #5 is true: if you don’t feel good about yourself, you will probably have trouble being nice to others. According to the worldly lie, however, you can solve this problem by learning to love yourself. Not a good idea. That only puts more focus on you. You already spend enough time thinking about yourself, you don’t need more. The verse in 2nd Timothy 3 (above) tells us that the last days will be full of people who love themselves – and it is definitely not a good thing.
The Real Solution: When it comes to your love, the Bible calls you to focus on two things: (more…)
