The Top Seven Love Lies of the World
Debunking the most common myths about love and marriage & searching for the reality of true love
Love Lie #4: You Complete Me
After a short hiatus, we are back on the love lie countdown. We are up to number four. Once again I want to remind you that the love lies on this countdown are not all 100% lie. In fact, I would say that today’s idea is mostly true. It even has some Biblical backing to it. Let’s take a look…
The Idea: Every man and woman is somehow incomplete inside, and needs that one magical person to make them whole again.
The Source: This lovely romantic notion was made popular by Tom Cruise in the nineties box office hit, Jerry McGuire. However, the idea has been around for ages. You can trace this all the way back to the day God took a rib out of Adam’s chest to make a bride for him. When a husband and a wife come together, the Bible says that they make one flesh. So this “you complete me” idea makes a lot of sense. After all, the feeling of loneliness can be an awful lot like having a hole in your heart (does anyone besides me remember the Cyndi Lauper song, There’s a Hole In My Heart that Goes All the Way to China? Boy was that an oversight in the ridiculous love song countdown!)
The Verdict: I’d say this one is partially true, but it’s missing something (sort of like our hearts). Finding your one true love does fill a void inside – but it’s just not enough. You’re still not quite whole.
The Bible: “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet no man can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV, emphasis added).
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy.” - Ephesians 5:25-26 (NIV, emphasis added)
The Truth: Yes, it is true that when bride and groom come together, they become one. Yes, it is true that finding that one magical person can make that empty feeling in your heart go away – but not completely. As I said, this one is mostly true. The problem is that every one of us is missing too much for any other person to fill, no matter how magical they are. I know this from personal experience (see My Story below). Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God took the trouble to set eternity in each of our hearts. Now that’s a big hole! In fact,it is a God shaped hole. Only God can fill the true void in your heart. Only Jesus can make us whole (and only in the English language can the word hole and the word whole mean such wholly different things).
That brings me to one of the most important words in the english language: holy. Sadly, it has largely lost its meaning for most of us. Holy has two essential meanings that work together. Holy means 1) whole or complete; and 2) set apart for a special purpose. Jesus gave up His life to make us holy (Ephesians 5:26 & Hebrews 13:12). He set us apart for a special purpose, and only He can make us complete.
My Story: I am quite familiar with the feeling of a hole in the heart. It was my constant companion for several lonely years. Oh I had good friends and good family, but I just knew I was missing something. For years I thought, “If I just met the right girl, everything would be okay.” Well, at long last, I met her (more…)
